Our classrooms are communities of learners and families from ALL walks of life. I know in our teacher hearts we want to support and foster positive relationships across all families, but it’s normal that some family dynamics may not be that familiar to us. I interviewed social worker Jaymi Matranga who has such deep insight into the world of foster care, foster families, and adoption and how schools can be a support.
1.) Tell us about you and your family.
Hi! My name is Jaymi, and I live in California. I have experienced the foster care system from almost every side – as a former foster youth, a former kinship legal guardian, and a current parent through birth, foster care, and adoption. I am also a (very young) grandparent – as our 16 year old foster daughter has a baby of her own!
When I am not at home with my husband caring for teens and toddlers, I am working as a social worker coming alongside of other families in crisis. I received my Master of Social Work (MSW) Degree with a concentration in Administration and Community Development, and a specialization in Child Welfare. I also graduated with eight other degrees and certificates.
In regards to foster care, I am passionate about trauma-informed care (especially with teenagers!), elevating the voices of those with lived experience, and preserving biological family connections when at all possible. I use my Instagram account to spread awareness of the foster care system and a message of hope, redemption, and belonging. Overall, my unique perspective and full-circle experiences have become the platform from which I advocate on behalf of vulnerable children, teens, and families.
2.) How has navigating the school system as a foster parent been?
It has been… interesting to say the least. We have come across some wonderful teachers and school personnel that have welcomed our kids with open arms, and have dove head-first into educating themselves about trauma and foster care. The best experiences we have had are when educators fully embrace restorative justice and empathy, and partner with us as caregivers in serving our children together. However, we have run into difficulties in accessing resources for our kids in regards to IEPs and additional supportive services that they need. We have had to take on the role of advocates for our kids, and especially our teens, in the school system to ensure that they are successful. Sadly, only about 50% of kids in foster care complete high school, and only 3% of former foster youth graduate from college. It makes a world of difference to have caregivers and a school system that is in their corner!
3.) What language do you prefer to be used by the school system as a foster parent? Parents? Caregivers? Guardians? Something else? Why?
I read an example of a Kindergarten teacher saying, “Who are your grownups?” and I LOVE that. Similar wording can be used with older children by saying, “Who are the adults that live with you at home?” In short, Caregivers are the most inclusive term. It encompasses parents, legal guardians, foster parents, relative caregivers, group home staff – everyone! It is definitely preferred over “parents” or “guardians.”
4.) Are there any school projects or assignments that you’ve had to navigate with your family that have been tricky?
Yes. The first one that comes to mind is the “family tree” assignment. As a child myself, this was a very painful assignment for me. Even before I was in foster care, I did not know my biological father and it was always anxiety-inducing and emotional to have to fill out these assignments. There are a lot of great alternatives out there, but this one in particular can be difficult for kids in non-traditional families – especially kids in foster care, who have trauma associated with family members. Foster youth and adoptees also feel pressured to choose between their biological parents and their foster/adoptive parents and other family members on these assignments. While their intention is to be fun and informative, these projects quickly become anything but that for youth who have experienced trauma.
Another one that is difficult for kids in foster care is the “baby picture” class assignments. A lot of kids don’t have access to photos from when they were young!
5.) What is one thing you wish teachers and school systems knew about non-traditional families?
The non-traditional and different does NOT equal “bad.” Adoption isn’t “taboo” and it shouldn’t be spoken about in whispers. Obviously there is a general tact and respect that should be used while speaking about our kids’ stories (and it should always be done with their consent, if possible), but adoption, foster care, and non-traditional families should be spoken about naturally and well-represented in the classroom. There are so many children’s books that speak about different types of families, and that all families are different and should be celebrated! Educators have a strong role to play in the way that they speak and approach non-traditional family settings.
6.) If I could change one thing about the school system to help support families like mine, it would be…
TRAUMA-INFORMED CARE. If only educators and the school system were more knowledgeable about trauma and its effects on the brain and child behavior! Some great resources and books have been written by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, Dr. Dan Siegel, and Dr. Bruce Perry, who are well versed in this area.
7.) Where can our readers find you to stay in touch?
I am most active on Instagram, where I share extensively about child welfare, foster care, and adoption! You can find me at www.instagram.com/familyandcoffee.
