Separation anxiety is a very real experience for so many children. It’s been widely reported that children have experienced separation anxiety at greater rates after being home for so many months due to pandemic precautions. While we see this as a fairly common occurrence in schools, do we really know what to do about it? While there’s never a quick fix or a sure fire strategy that will support every student, we can be sure we have some tools for this in our behavior toolbox. Here’s 9 strategies to try when supporting students experiencing separation anxiety!
Show the time they’ll get to see their caregiver
This may seem simple or obvious, but it’s helpful! Be concrete. Giving children a visual that shows what a clock will look like (and maybe what activity comes right before) when they’ll be reunited with their caregiver can be very assuring. This also lets children know you’re listening and hearing them, and not dismissing their feelings.
Teach coping skills
Students need their own set of skills to manage their emotions. Have you taught them what those are? Have you provided a variety of coping skills so students can uncover which ones work for them? I love using breathing mats and calm corners as ways to give students ownership over their coping strategies. Looking for more coping skills ideas? Grab this freebie that features 50 coping skills to try.
Journaling
Not every strategy will work for every child. Thinking of myself as a kid (who often experienced separation anxiety!), I loved to draw and write about my feelings. It was, and still is, therapeutic for me to get my thoughts and experiences down on paper. Do you have any students that seem like they might vibe with that? Try having them journal about what they’re feeling. You can make it a “back and forth journal” that you read and respond, or just a private journal for themselves.
Frequent check-ins
Whether it’s you or another trusted adult, having routine and honored check-in times is such a big factor. Separation anxiety is rooted from connection. The child is tethered to this caregiver and it’s hard to separate, meaning relationships are very crucial to their wellbeing. Establishing yourself as a safe place at school and a trusted figure can be really helpful in students feeling comfortable and less anxious coming to school.
Structured peer connections
Peer connections can make all the difference! Separation anxiety is tough, but the distraction and happiness element from a welcoming friend can really turn it around. Having grounded and empathetic peers serve as a helper for children experiencing big emotions can be really helpful. Pro tip: Keep your teacher instincts on guard, we don’t want our peer buddies getting themselves stuck in a situation that would be hard for an adult to navigate.
Time to look at pictures of loved ones
Having a digital or printed photo album of a few photos of loved ones can be very soothing for children having separation anxiety. For some students, this may remind them of the people they miss and create a deja-vu situation. Get to know your students well before making any intervention moves, but this can be a nice one for kids who just like that reassurance that their loved one isn’t far away.
Take pictures of work to show caregiver
Sharing work with a loved one can make students feel that connection even if they aren’t in the same physical space together. Sending a quick email or posting to the classroom SeeSaw account can give children some relief that their caregivers are still connected. This also helps get students excited about completing school work and offers a layer of helpful motivation.
Incorporate student interests
Does your student love animals? Really into a certain athlete or sport? Make it work! Adding interests into the schedule can allow for students to feel that connection and excitement towards school and begin to shift their focus away from missing their caregiver. Motivation and engagement are two ways to positively distract!
Use social scripts
I love, love, love social scripts. Of course, you probably already know that. Social scripts read at home before school as well as during times when a child is calm and engaged can be crucial supports. Social scripts can prepare students for what’s coming, as well as offer helpful tips and/or strategies for managing that next step. A social script about separation anxiety might validate the child’s feelings, offer reassurance, and provide some strategies they can try if they’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
This social script about anxious feelings can help students be refreshed on their options and validate how they are feeling.
Looking for a bank of ready to use, differentiated social scripts? Join the social script library!
What do you think? Do any of these strategies seem like ideas that might be supportive of some students in your school?
